Close but no cigar Pt 1

Jan has trouble with some words or names which no amount of practice seems to help. Watching the TV one night on come the adverts . I have to admit I wasnt really concentrating until Jan said " What does crushed smilk smell like?" Upon being asked to explain she tells me its a new Bold advert for "Crushed smilk and jasmine". "No" I say "its crushed silk" "But thats what I said! Crushed smilk and jasmine............... crushed smilk........ ( long pause and after much concentration) crushes smilk...... bugga!!!"

And anyway what does crushed silk smell of?

But didnt i just say.......... oh never mind!

Spending the night in a travelodge we opened a bottle or two of wine. Jan picks up a bottle of white , inspects the label and says " Well THATS not right!" What? "What it says on the label. try it and tell me if its dry medium or sweet." So I try it and say it medium. " No its not its sweeter than dry."

Errrm which would make it what?

INMF!

Colour Blind

..... While watching some talent programme on TV

"SHE'S LIKE A BLACK TINA TURNER"

" ermmmmmmm and what colour is Tina Turner Jan?"

"It's not me fault!"

Well she was a bit like Tina, but had black hair!